Fresh Eyes

Pursuing excellence? Persistence is key to success

Inspiration is guaranteed each and every Olympics.

Watching the best in the world compete in so many sports is a powerful reminder of what it takes to excel.

It reminds us, as well, that if you're pursuing excellence of any type, being able to push over, around, or through the barriers you inevitably find somewhere on the road to your goal is an important part of success.

Here are a few pursuit of excellence thoughts from others who knew the path, too:

I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.
Thomas Edison

Nothing at all will be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome.
Samuel Johnson

A man who suffers before it is necessary, suffers more than is necessary.
Seneca

We will either find a way, or make one.
Hannibal

Is 2010 off to a good start? If not, here are a few things you can do

We're two weeks in, with 50 to go.

How's your progress on your 2010 resolutions?

Are you making step-by-step progress toward the habits that you need to have in order to meet your current goals?

If old perspectives, habits or discouraging self-talk threaten to take you back to the ways that didn't work before, do something dramatic.

Shake yourself up.

Shake the January doldrums off.

Do one of the following...or something else...but do it now:

- Create a mural of your goal and the path to it.

Include enough details to show you on making steady progress toward the finish line, the top of the mountain, or whatever metaphor works to propel you through the changes you need to make to reach your goal.

- Choose an encouraging target phrase and say it to yourself 50 times each day.

Sounds silly?

Think of it this way. You're probably saying discouraging things to yourself at least that frequently, whether you realize it or not.

Substitute a new and better script. Stop or drown out the depleting things you're telling yourself now.

- Choose an energy-building song you love and play it three times a day.

Try playing it once in the morning, again as a break during the day, and a third time on your way home or in the evening sometime.

- Create a chart and track actions that will take you all the way across the finish line.

If you're trying to give up soda, for example, use a simple checksheet to keep track of the number of days you successfully say "no" to yourself and to the siren call of the item or habit that "wants you to return," even though you're trying to let go.

- Make a public declaration of your goal, and the daily actions you're taking to try to reach it.

Share it with people who support you. Enlist their help in keeping you on track.

And what about those who are threatened by your growth, or your dreams?

Like it or not, there are some people whose security is threatened by your plans to improve, or to do something better for yourself.

Stand up for yourself.

You have to be in your own corner before anyone else will.

Do what you need to do to be true to you, and to create a better today and many better tomorrows.

The dance of departure continues

The dance of departure occurs many times in life.

It happens in business, when colleagues leave and move on to other companies, or, unfortunately, when layoffs occur.

It happens in families and with friends.

Someone starts college, or takes a new job, or gets married and moves far away. And, of course, families and groups of friends change in other big ways, too.

So the dance of departure happens again and again, in different ways.

That dance is underway in our world now.

Our son's final college applications went in last night.

After they'd been sent, I felt a great big mixture of relief, pride, and yet, was reminded of my wish not to be at this point in life so soon.

Yet here we are. It is...believe it or not, whether we as parents like it or not...time.

And so, the dance of departure continues.

We want our children to be ready to run on their own when the time is right.

Day by day, over the full range of their growing up years, we let them gradually go.

We teach them to.

We help them develop skills, learn to make good decisions, celebrate successes and also face consequences when choices don't work out well.

All this time, they thought all that we cared about was good grades?

Little do they know how carefully we've watched and tried to make good decisions, ourselves.

We hope to have done a good job of guiding both the strategic and tactical aspects of their growth, their readiness to join the adult world.

As parents, we want to make sure that they get the right foundation: a solid base of knowledge that will serve them well, strong life skills, and the ability to apply them well. And, of course, we hope to have taught them resiliency, as well.

We hope they surround themselves with people who are friends in the truest sense of the word, and support their growth, too.

We hope to help them learn to hit that difficult-to-achieve balance between being themselves and yet knowing how to be a strong member of the groups they're in.

We teach them to plan, to try their plan, and to adapt as need be to reach challenging goals. And we try to teach them to know that's it's okay to for help as they learn and grow.

We try to teach them how to leave well - even though we don't want to see them go.

We get them (and ourselves) ready to say "good-bye." 

And ready to say "hello" in a different way as the adults they become, proudly testing themselves in a soon-larger world.

This dance of departure is not an easy dance, whatever departure is involved.

But it's an important one to do well.

Thoughts on clear focus, strong presence

In the final days of December we can't help but review - even briefly - the way we spent the year that's soon to end.

And as we do, one thing we may notice is the degree to which we were committed to the ways we spent our moments, our days, our lives in the 12 months that have just flown by.

What would you like to have stay the same in 2010 as it was in 2009?

How do you want things to be different in your life in the year just ahead?

Here are thoughts from others about presence, commitment and purpose:

Presence is more than just being there.
Malcolm S. Forbes

Some people think they are concentrating when they're merely worrying.
Bobby Jones

Strong lives are motivated by dynamic purposes.
Kenneth Hildebrand

The first rule of focus is this, "Wherever you are, be there."
Unknown

Concentration is the secret of strength in politics, in war, in trade, in short in all management of human affairs.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Day's end - and decade's end - just around the bend

San Francisco near-silhouette at sunset, originally uploaded by jcgr.

It's nearly another year's end. It's almost the end of this century's first decade, as well.

Consider the highlights for you:

- What's your favorite memory from the past year?

- What's your favorite thing about the decade that will soon be over?

- What's the one change you would like to make in the year ahead?

- How do you hope your life is different when the next decade ends?

How to give a gift that the giftee loves

Searching for just the right gift for someone?

Here's a bit of advice from one of my best friends: "The best gifts are treasures and experiences," she says.

I like that gift-giving plan.

I've received gifts that hit the mark more than the giver ever guessed they might. The signs of a gift that is adored?

Laughter, hugs, tears in the eyes.

And the best clue for the other kind?

The very slowly unfolding laugh trying to mask the thought, "Hmmm...what can I say? Is there any way I'll use this???"

The rule in our family is that if the giftee really won't use the gift, they can - without hard feelings - return it. We hope not to need to use the rule, but on occasion, it comes into play.

And kids, if you want to know the gift that will warm your parents' heart more than you might ever guess, it's still the one...no matter what age you are...that you made yourself.

Perhaps, as parents, we should remember that advice, as well.

Finally, there's the gift of shared, attentive time (which means, of course, time that's Blackberry, phone and Twitter-free).

It's always a wonderful gift.

Enjoy the laughter the holidays bring

One of the best things about Thanksgiving - well, of course, there's the great food - is the chance it provides to share time and make memories with friends and loved ones.

And with that, there is often laughter.

It may be about something in the past (whether something endured or enjoyed, a foible or a failing, at least it's funny now).

Laughter could be about a present challenge or circumstance.

It may be an observation about life, just as it is.

And while life as it has been, is now, and will be may not be the way you dreamt it would be (or maybe for you, it is), life, with all its imperfections, can offer some pretty amusing circumstances.

Whatever the source of your laughter, whomever you're sharing it with, enjoy the laughter you have.

It's both a bond and a gift.

Assumptions, assumptions...

Assumptions. They're risky to make.

They open up some paths of action, and close off many others.

If you choose to make assumptions, know what they are. Then check to see if you're right. You may very well be surprised.

Here's the advice others offer on the subject of assumptions and the problems they can lead to if they are not valid:

The least questioned assumptions are often the most questionable.
Paul Broca

Assumptions allow the best in life to pass you by.
John Sales

Assumptions are the termites of relationships.
Henry Winkler

We simply assume that the way we see things is the way they really are and the way they should be. And our attitudes and behaviors grow out of these assumptions.
Stephen Covey

In a start-up company, you basically throw out all assumptions every three weeks.
William Phelps

I have learned throughout my life as a composer chiefly through my mistakes and pursuits of false assumptions, not my exposure to founts of wisdom and knowledge.
Igor Stravinsky

The harder you fight to hold on to specific assumptions, the more likely there's gold in letting go of them.
John Seely Brown

And if you made assumptions that were wrong and are trying to work your way through the trouble that caused:

Don't raise your voice. Improve your argument.
Zachariah Tutu (Desmond Tutu's father)

Temper is what gets most of us in trouble. Pride is what keeps us there.
Unknown

Lessons from a no-hitter

You don't know what's going to happen any time you walk on the field, metaphorically speaking.

You might come off at the end of the game having won or lost. And if you're the victor, you may even come off the field with a performance that's one for the record books.

Jonathan Sanchez, a San Francisco Giants pitcher, pitched a no-hitter Friday night - the first for the San Francisco Giants since 1976 and the first at home since 1975.

For those of us caught up in the pursuit, each pitch watched breathlessly, it was a thing of beauty to observe. Really.

Any superb performance, no matter what field of play in which it occurs, is a thing of beauty to be part of, and to observe.

These are some of the "how to get your own no-hitter" guidelines that occurred to me as we watched and listened to this rare feat on Friday, and listened to the extensive post-game analysis:

1. Prepare in every way you can, ahead of the game.

Do everything you can to be mentally, physically and emotionally ready for the work, the challenge at hand.

Practice hard. Practice well. Stretch the boundaries of what you were capable of before.

Mental preparation counts as much as physical preparation does. The victory often goes to the person who thinks he or she can win the most. Prepare yourself so that you can handle the “moment” when you must make the right call and make the right move, or lose it all.

2. Learn from the masters.

Jonathan Sanchez had, apparently, listened a lot to Randy Johnson, a legendary pitcher in the final years of his career.

The odds are, he learned many things in those talks – mental, physical, and emotional preparation for the challenges he might face as a pitcher.

That probably all contributed to his ability to stay the course and deliver a no-hitter, and will have a very positive impact on the rest of his career, as well.

3. Be open to the moment.

Once you’ve prepared, in all ways, then you have to be open to whatever may happen. You can’t control what will happen…you just have to be ready to freely, fully respond.

And then let it go. Fully play the game.

4. Be in the moment.

Respond to what is happening now, right now. You’re not in the next inning, or the last one. You’re not in the next game. You have no business worrying, at this moment, about the full season, your career, or dreaming about the next vacation.

"Be here now." Really.

5. If someone has a no-hitter going and it's a guy, LEAVE HIM ALONE.

And if the "no-hitter" is underway in a different field, and it's a woman who has excellence unfolding, take your cues from her about what would help.

On Friday night, no one would talk to, look directly at, or go ANYWHERE NEAR Jonathan Sanchez when it was the Giants' turn at bat, and they were in the dugout. It almost looked as if he was being ostracized, if it had occurred in a different context.

The dynamic was fascinating to me, never having seen a no-hitter before. My husband and son knew right away what was going on. The commentators, one a former major league pitcher himself, talked at length about not wanting to be the one to "jinx" the streak, or break Sanchez' concentration.

As I watched, intrigued, this quote occurred to me:

"You lose it if you talk about it."
Ernest Hemingway

6. It takes a team to get a no-hitter.

For Jonathan Sanchez, it took many players and advisors to create the nearly perfect game, and no-hitter.

It took a catcher, Eli Whiteside, with whom Sanchez had great communication, and in whom he had great trust to make the right calls about which pitch to throw. It also took Whiteside's calming presence to keep Sanchez focused at crucial times.

It took a patient and persistent pitching coach, Dave Righetti, to coach Sanchez for days or weeks to adjust his pitching mechanics, bringing out his full potential, at that time, in that moment, under the pressure of history in the making.

It took an outfielder, Aaron Rowand, who could catch a ball that might have turned into a double, a triple – but certainly would have taken the no-hitter down if he had missed the ball at the wall.

It took a manager, Bruce Bochy, who believed in the pitcher to do the job.

7. It takes some luck and serendipity, too.

It took a few serendipitous changes of plan for the unlikely combination of Sanchez and Whiteside to be working together on this night. Veteran and legendary pitcher, Randy Johnson, who was scheduled to pitch that night but could not. And catcher, Bengie Molina, was scheduled to catch but his wife went into labor, so he, too, was gone from the line-up.

8. It also takes a close personal support system.

The final detail that “made the moment”?

Sanchez’ father, Sigfredo, flew in to see his son for the first time as a major league starting pitcher. We’ll never know what impact that had on Sanchez' no-hitter, but it was a beautiful experience for them to share.

And it was a beautiful moment to watch when, the game in the record books, and father and son hugged, tears in their eyes (at least the dad did...and some of us as fans did, too). It was a moment that choked up even veteran sports watchers and commentators.

9. It takes getting out of your own way.

All the raw talent and diligent preparation can be there. But you also have to get out of your own way to let success happen.

If you start questioning your luck, ability, or belief that it can happen while the action is underway and the opportunity for success is at hand, that might be all it takes for the potential to become a would-be, should-be, could-have-been-if-only story.

There’s more, certainly, that goes into creating excellence.

If not, no-hitters and their counterparts in each of our own fields of work and play would be more common.

For now, these are just a few places to start if you’re going for your own “no-hitter."

What ideas would you add, about how to produce a "no-hitter" in baseball, or any endeavor?

Musings and perusings on life and fame

It's hard not to think about the power and price of fame with the loss in recent days of a few American entertainment greats.

First, it was Ed McMahon, Johnny Carson's steady supporter, his long-time right hand man. Then Farrah Fawcett, a woman more intelligent and deeper than her first roles might have shown. And Michael Jackson, an entertainment game changer, and for a while, an industry of his own.

Each benefited mightily from the bright lights they sought and attracted. Money. Power. Many choices.

Or so it seems, looking from the outside in.

Each probably - also - paid a higher price than we would ever guess. Who knows?

Perhaps at some point the lights became blinding, the role they were effectively assigned by their great fame became stifling, confining.

Whatever their experience, as we note the end of their bright light lives, it gives us a moment to take a good look, privately, at our own.

Here's a bit of advice others offer, along those lines:

Have old memories and young hopes.
A. Houssaye

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow.
O. S. Marsden

We lie loudest when we lie to ourselves.
Eric Hoffer

People become lonely when they build walls instead of bridges.
Unknown

What you think of yourself is much more important than what others think of you.
Seneca