How to accept and enjoy the holiday you have, even if it’s not the holiday you planned

Acceptance.

Maybe that’s on my mind because it’s the high-intensity holiday week for many people around the world.

These celebratory times can be fun but intense.

Energy, hope and expectations run high.

And then.

Reality sets in.

Something doesn’t go QUITE as planned, and then it happens again (and again).

Here’s a short list of things that can go wrong with the holidays when reality sets in:

- You don’t quite get everything done that “MUST” be done

- Someone is disappointed with their gift (maybe that disappointed someone is you)

- Gifts are mismatched

- The dinner rolls catch fire (and that happened not once, but TWICE to us the year we served holiday dinners to our extended families in our first home.

Maybe the rolls were trying to tell us something!

It happened first when the napkin in the bread basket caught fire when it was too close to the candles on the table.

And the second time, the bag we were steaming the rolls in caught fire in a too-full oven.

- A tire goes flat and guests won’t arrive by the time the turkey comes out of the oven

- A much-wanted present is broken in transit

- A flight is delayed for the important few days together

- A traveling dog does not adjust well to a new location and her now-missing routine and surroundings (and, hey, she’d never vacationed before…and it can be stressful)

- The budget is blown as presents, exuberantly bought in the holiday fever, add up to far more cost than the buyers thought in the middle of the frenzy

And so…

You accept.

And then you adapt.

And then you recover your spirit of adventure.

And you make the best of what you have.

But it all begins at the beginning, when things start happening in ways they weren’t “supposed to.”

That’s right when you catch it.

Acceptance sounds easy enough to do, but it’s not.

Especially in the thick of the circumstances that most require it.

The first step to change is to acknowledge your circumstances as they really are.

Face the facts, quite literally.

Square up with them. Face them directly.

Sit with them for a bit.

Let them really soak in.

And be as OK with what is happening as you can be at the moment, for the circumstances aren’t going to change until you do.

Then, remember what you’re trying to achieve, in the grand scheme of things.

And know that in that grand scheme of things, your big goal can still all work out…just not quite the way you’d imagined it would.

Then do what you can to creatively adjust, using the resources you have and can conjure up.

You may find the solutions you create under pressure are fresher and more fun than the ones you worked so hard to “make” work…before you could see they didn’t, and wouldn’t.

Oh, and remember that dog visiting a new location, and not adjusting well?

It was our dog. And it was our daughter’s boyfriend’s house, where we were all gathering from various parts of the country.

The housemates who lived there had four cats, between them.

Yes, I know, I know.

We all wonder what we were even thinking, imagining that it would all work out easily.

But on paper it looked good.

The dog knew and accepted cats. She lived with and loved one as a friend.

And our daughter and her boyfriend had rescued a dog once that was so mellow that almost hoped its owner wouldn’t be found.

Weren’t all dogs like that?

Actually, no.

Not ours.

And so, when our golden retriever was following her retriever nose, she found the first cat’s hidden lair, under an upstairs back bedroom bed.

The cat fled down the stairs in terror, flew across the dining room, and scrambled up the window screen, dog racing closely behind.

The cat, having scaled the window screen, clung there until she was safely picked off.

And we, the various owners of the various pets, pow-wowed to try to figure out how to make the real life situation work.

I, for one, grabbed the leash and took her for a long, long walk to drain her anxious, excess energy off and give the others time to think.

And the dog?

For the rest of the visit, she wouldn’t go anywhere NEAR the stairs leading up to the hidden lair. It was intriguing, yes, but clearly FAR too dangerous.

Well, adventure aside, everyone survived, animals and people, too.

So whatever adventure your holidays bring, you will survive them, too.

The good adventure that will finally emerge, despite your well-honed plans all starts with acceptance.

Momentary intrigue


Florally intriguing
Originally uploaded by jcgr

An intriguing flower provides diversion in the midst of the everyday routine.

Keep your eyes open as you make your way.

You never know what intriguing sights you’ll see.

Each can inspire in these and other ways:

- Providing the spark for creativity
- Giving you a spontaneous moment of amusement
- Breaking the predictable pattern of another everyday day

WOW


WOW
Originally uploaded by jcgr

The WOW on this awning in downtown San Francisco made me smile instantly.

WOW.

Think about the last time your reaction to something was a simple, inspired, “WOW!”

What made you feel that way?

Now think about a project you’re working on or a goal you have.

If others were to be WOWed by the work when that project is complete, what would you have done to have inspired them in that way?

How can you get that job done most easily?

Speaking for myself, staying focused on the goal and keeping the work from getting too complicated leads to the most valued outcomes.

And WOW often comes when I’ve enjoyed the work, itself, while it’s underway.

Whatever the path is for you, do what you need to in order for your best work to emerge most easily.

And when you do, enjoy the “WOW!” when it comes your way!

Freedom on the water


Flying across the water in Santa Cruz
Originally uploaded by jcgr

The beautiful blue freedom of flying across the water at Santa Cruz calls…if you’re prepared.

It was an exhilarating sport to watch, and reminded me of this quote:

A man can succeed at almost anything for which he has unlimited enthusiasm.
Charles Schwab

For what do you have unlimited enthusiasm?

A little frazzled but still smiling


A little frazzled but still smiling
Originally uploaded by jcgr

Sometimes life tosses us around a bit, but we still come up smiling.

This poor “stress ball” shows the effects of his own stressful experience…having been tossed around by a dog…but has bounced back, still smiling.

The tale the pedometer tells


The tale of the pedometer
Originally uploaded by jcgr

A little data can tell many things.

In this case, I started the pedometer on my phone on a busy walking day.

When I checked the results later, it surprised and amused me:

1. It was amazing how quickly the miles added up.

2. The path showed that at one point, I was, literally, going in circles over the course of an hour or so. That’s when three members of my family tried to find each other on a large campus, and a very large crowd of people.

What simple data can you track that will tell you a few helpful and, perhaps, amusing things?

Take the present

“Go!”

“Hurry up!”

“It might be too late!”

Is that the type of constant pressure you living with, living in and living under?

Sometimes stop.

Just stop.

And be.

Right where you are.

I had a moment like that this morning.

A challenging deadline met, I paused for a cup of fresh coffee, and the gift to self of stretch-out time to read the morning paper in meandering fashion.

Full of the moment, full of the pause, I stopped to notice it all.

And I noticed how perfect that moment was – just that moment. It was full.

Take the present.

Sometimes, just pause.

Let the present be enough, let the present be all.

Freshly blooming beauty


Bright white
Originally uploaded by jcgr

Roses are just starting to bloom in our part of the country.

This often-bountiful bush is just starting to bloom not far away from our home.

Flowers are probably popping up in your world, too.

Where are the places near you that you can count on for freshly blooming beauty now…or soon?

Just a moment’s pause…to window shop


Momentary window shopping
Originally uploaded by jcgr

I was amused at this quick moment on a trip last fall to New York City.

A couple of policewomen couldn’t help but to glance for a moment at shoes on their rounds of the city.

After all, beautiful shoes are beautiful shoes, no matter who you are, or what job you walk.

It was a flying through life Monday here…how was yours?

It was a rare Monday in my world.

I felt like I was flying through the day, in the good way.

And I was almost afraid to look too closely at how quickly the “to-do” list was turning rapidly into the “it’s done!” list.

You know how it goes. There’s that quiet little fear that if you look too closely, good luck, under close inspection, will fly away.

Yes, it was one of those kinds of days.

Not until about 3:10 pm did I hit the first pothole in the day’s progress and plans.

And then that pothole was a bit of a doozy, but I got back on track again.

At some point before Monday ends, I’ll take a moment or two to try to figure out if there’s something specific I did to make (or let?) this day work out as well as it did.

Maybe it was that moment or two last night when I couldn’t get to sleep. I purposely shifted from worrying about a few things to thinking about things that make me smile.

Yes, that may have been it.

All I know is that I’m going to do my best to make it a flying-through-life-in-the-good-way Tuesday next.

Here’s to a great Tuesday in your world, too!