It’s common to want to make an impact in a big way with one’s time and talents.

And it’s common to miss the small, daily opportunities each of us has to make a difference.

The subject came up in a book club meeting recently.

This group of about ten women had read and were discussing a book we loved, Let the Great World Spin, by Colum McCann.

One member of the group asked, as we talked about a character who was quite selfless and had a big positive impact in others’ lives, “How can we make a difference in the world? There’s not a lot we can do in the jobs and lives we have.”

She was searching for ways of making a huge, high-impact difference in many people’s lives, all at the same time.

“There ways to have a positive impact where you are, right now,” I said.

“Who knows? You’ve probably made a difference in someone else’s life by an example you set, or by something encouraging you said at a time when they needed it most. And you may never know that you had that impact,” I suggested to her.

She paused, and thought back to her own experience, realizing its truth from the receiving side. Her husband passed away within the past year after a nine-year struggle with a serious illness. Many people surrounded them during that time, and have since, trying to help them, and ease their burden.

What I think my friend may not realize is how much she and her family gave many people in their example of grace, courage, and yet, strong and positive spirits in the face of such daunting circumstances.

Many of us know, I’m sure, what a relief it is to receive much-needed help from a caring friend at a time when we’re experiencing great life challenges.

That encouragement can make a huge difference with smaller challenges, too. These smaller opportunities crop up far more frequently.

You know such moments, such as when a friend seems discouraged, but doesn’t mention it, feeling her concern may not be important enough to take others’ time with it.

Or when a neighbor, normally upbeat, seems depleted, distracted.

And we can be helpful in these ways to strangers, too.

I will never forget one older woman in New York, and such a moment.

Physically frail and with poor eyesight, she was shuffling down the wintry street, alone. She was struggling to get to an appointment at a building she’d never visited before.

Meanwhile, my daughter, 13, and I were hustling down the street, enjoying the festivity of New York City at the holidays, engrossed in a full schedule, high energy, happy chatter.

And while I wasn’t really aware of the people around us, for some reason, I noticed the struggling, solitary old woman.

“Could you help me find this building?” she asked, exasperated, a bit sad, a bit desperate at her solitary plight.

I hesitated, unsure how long it would take, knowing how much Anne and I were trying to get done in our rapid-cycle trip.

But I stopped. How could I not help this old woman struggling down a busy New York street, alone?

Ultimately, helping her didn’t take long, at all, of course.

And far from taking away from the experience of our time in New York, it only added to it. I’ve never been able to forget her, what she said to me, and her thankfulness.

As she’d taken the arm I offered her for steadiness, and we started to slowly, quietly search for the building in the midst of the hustle and bustle that surrounded us, she said, “No one will stop to help! Everyone is so busy! They go so fast!”

It was so easy for me to help her, and it made the city a little more accessible, a little less angry for her, the day a little less alone.

I probably have my mother to thank for the fact that I even noticed her, and her need for help.

When we were growing up, Mom would say at dinner almost every evening, “What did you do to help the world today?”

The point she was making – and I’m now thankful she did – was that the help we provide others may not be life-changing for thousands of people at a time (or maybe it is).

But there is something we can do, right where we are, helping the people we encounter.

The point is, don’t wait for great, big world-changing events, or high-profile, celebrity-filled fundraising appeals.

Keep your eyes and ears open. There’s someone around you now who could use a little bit of your talent, your time, your encouragement.

And it would be easy not to notice.

Start today, in some small way, to make the world a better place.

There’s an opportunity around you now, somewhere right where you live.

Our son’s last day of high school is tomorrow.

Well, he does have finals ahead next week. And then graduation is just after that.

It’s all happening so quickly now.

Everything has been happening quickly this year, as it did when our daughter was a senior.

The time, from a parent’s perspective, absolutely flew.

I asked Matt tonight as he was heading to bed, “How do you feel about your last day of high school? Are you excited? Sad?”

I paused, letting the feelings just be what they were, for each of us.

“Or maybe you’re feeling a mix of emotions. Often at these times, we do,” I suggested, reflecting privately on my own mix of emotions at this momentous time in his life, and ours, too.

How about you?

What emotions occur to you, when you recall having reaching major life or work milestones?

Do you recall a combination of excitement when looking ahead, tinged with wistfulness, as you looked back and realized what was ending, too?

It is possible to feel many different emotions, all at the same time.

Change often means you’re gaining something, while giving up something, too.

Our son heads off to college in the fall. He doesn't have to make a commitment to one college until May 1, but he already knows where he wants to go.

He's hoped for almost two years that he'd be going there, since he first set foot on the campus during a college tour.

And as parents, we're trying to help him prepare in the last few ways we can before he heads off to the dorm in the fall.

I thought a visit with a friend's daughter, who is a sophomore at the same school, might help. We met her for lunch yesterday. Jessica absolutely loves it, and cannot imagine leaving at the end of two more short years.

We asked, "What advice do you have about having a great experience here?"

"Get involved," she said simply, and with conviction.

That's always good advice, no matter what life experience you're preparing to have.

Think back on your own life.

Consider a time when you "got involved" in something you really cared about.

- How different was your experience of that time, that group and what you achieved with your time and talents?

- What did you learn in that highly involved state?

- Did that experience help you at some other time in your life?

Now think of a time when you were a more passive participant in what was going on.

Perhaps you went through the motions of the role.

Maybe you didn't really care about what you were doing, who you were working with, or who you were doing the work for.

It's probably a time when you did your part, but never really gave it your "all."

- What are your memories of that experience, that time in your life, and what you learned about yourself and your talents in that role?

Remember the advice.

Find your place.

Make your way.

Make a commitment to something you care a lot about.

Get involved.