How to accept and enjoy the holiday you have, even if it’s not the holiday you planned

Acceptance.

Maybe that’s on my mind because it’s the high-intensity holiday week for many people around the world.

These celebratory times can be fun but intense.

Energy, hope and expectations run high.

And then.

Reality sets in.

Something doesn’t go QUITE as planned, and then it happens again (and again).

Here’s a short list of things that can go wrong with the holidays when reality sets in:

- You don’t quite get everything done that “MUST” be done

- Someone is disappointed with their gift (maybe that disappointed someone is you)

- Gifts are mismatched

- The dinner rolls catch fire (and that happened not once, but TWICE to us the year we served holiday dinners to our extended families in our first home.

Maybe the rolls were trying to tell us something!

It happened first when the napkin in the bread basket caught fire when it was too close to the candles on the table.

And the second time, the bag we were steaming the rolls in caught fire in a too-full oven.

- A tire goes flat and guests won’t arrive by the time the turkey comes out of the oven

- A much-wanted present is broken in transit

- A flight is delayed for the important few days together

- A traveling dog does not adjust well to a new location and her now-missing routine and surroundings (and, hey, she’d never vacationed before…and it can be stressful)

- The budget is blown as presents, exuberantly bought in the holiday fever, add up to far more cost than the buyers thought in the middle of the frenzy

And so…

You accept.

And then you adapt.

And then you recover your spirit of adventure.

And you make the best of what you have.

But it all begins at the beginning, when things start happening in ways they weren’t “supposed to.”

That’s right when you catch it.

Acceptance sounds easy enough to do, but it’s not.

Especially in the thick of the circumstances that most require it.

The first step to change is to acknowledge your circumstances as they really are.

Face the facts, quite literally.

Square up with them. Face them directly.

Sit with them for a bit.

Let them really soak in.

And be as OK with what is happening as you can be at the moment, for the circumstances aren’t going to change until you do.

Then, remember what you’re trying to achieve, in the grand scheme of things.

And know that in that grand scheme of things, your big goal can still all work out…just not quite the way you’d imagined it would.

Then do what you can to creatively adjust, using the resources you have and can conjure up.

You may find the solutions you create under pressure are fresher and more fun than the ones you worked so hard to “make” work…before you could see they didn’t, and wouldn’t.

Oh, and remember that dog visiting a new location, and not adjusting well?

It was our dog. And it was our daughter’s boyfriend’s house, where we were all gathering from various parts of the country.

The housemates who lived there had four cats, between them.

Yes, I know, I know.

We all wonder what we were even thinking, imagining that it would all work out easily.

But on paper it looked good.

The dog knew and accepted cats. She lived with and loved one as a friend.

And our daughter and her boyfriend had rescued a dog once that was so mellow that almost hoped its owner wouldn’t be found.

Weren’t all dogs like that?

Actually, no.

Not ours.

And so, when our golden retriever was following her retriever nose, she found the first cat’s hidden lair, under an upstairs back bedroom bed.

The cat fled down the stairs in terror, flew across the dining room, and scrambled up the window screen, dog racing closely behind.

The cat, having scaled the window screen, clung there until she was safely picked off.

And we, the various owners of the various pets, pow-wowed to try to figure out how to make the real life situation work.

I, for one, grabbed the leash and took her for a long, long walk to drain her anxious, excess energy off and give the others time to think.

And the dog?

For the rest of the visit, she wouldn’t go anywhere NEAR the stairs leading up to the hidden lair. It was intriguing, yes, but clearly FAR too dangerous.

Well, adventure aside, everyone survived, animals and people, too.

So whatever adventure your holidays bring, you will survive them, too.

The good adventure that will finally emerge, despite your well-honed plans all starts with acceptance.

Need to laugh? Recall now-funny mistakes you recovered well from

Are there times when, overwhelmed by the weight of world news, you need a moment of lightness or levity?

If so, and if you can laugh at yourself, just think of some of the biggest embarrassments or mistakes you recovered well from.

As long as no one was hurt, mistakes and foibles that may have been horrifying when they occurred can be quite funny at some distant date.

Do you need some inspiration to get started?

If so, here are three stories from my “Embarrassments I Survived” Tour:

WOOPS ONE

I was in the first month of my first job after college one bright June day.

Nervous about the first weeklong training I was there to do for a class full of elementary teachers, after the warm up and greeting, I reached up to pull down a projection screen.

Suddenly, it crashed to the floor.

Somehow, I had pulled it off the wall.

The class and I were both stunned. Speaking for myself, I was:

a) amazed that it was even possible for me to pull a projection screen off a wall,

b) wondering what to do next about that screen suddenly on the floor, and

c) embarrassed to have done this in front of a room full of people I’d be teaching for the rest of the week.

I collected myself, then joked, “It seems I have much greater strength than I knew!”

They laughed. We relaxed.

Then we adapted, projecting the slides on the wall for the remainder of that day.

WOOPS TWO

I once spent, oh, an hour or so with mascara running down my face in rivulets on the sidelines of a high-attendance Big 8 conference college football game.

It was during a time early in my career when I was a freelance sports photographer on the weekends. This was a high precipitation day with the temperature teetering right on the edge of freezing, snowflakes turning to rain almost as soon as they fell.

At some point in the second half, I climbed the many steps of the stadium to the restroom, facing hundreds of fans as I climbed, step by step. Many of them were, strangely, staring at me.

Once in the restroom, out of habit, I took a cursory glance at myself in the mirror, expecting to verify that nothing was out of place.

This time, though, I suddenly saw a Halloween mask-like face staring back at me. Black streaks were running from the bottom of my eyes down past my chin.

It was a bit like the famous Edvard Munch painting, “The Scream.”

Horrified, I finally understood why so many people had been looking at me strangely as I climbed the many, many stadium steps.

All I could do at that point was to – once again in life – laugh at myself.

I paused for a moment to collect myself, cleaned up my face, and headed back to the sidelines.

WOOPS THREE

An error appeared in the title of the lead article of a scientific journal for which I was the brand new assistant editor.

That’s not the worst of it.

The erroneous word was “menstrual.”

And that embarrassing error went ALL around the world because this was the top scientific journal in its field.

I discovered the error in the first few minutes of the first morning back to work after my honeymoon.

And while the error ultimately escaped correction, it had not escaped detection in the rounds of printer’s proofs. I’d caught it before the magazine was printed, and called it to the printer’s attention. But he had apparently not taken me all that seriously.

We both learned.

The correct word, by the way, was “menstrua.”

And while that word, from my perspective, was an unfortunate and risky word choice on the part of the authors, it was scientifically correct in the way it was being used in the title.

“Menstrual” was not.

So back to work on that first day home from the honeymoon, I took one look at the fresh issue of the scientific journal for which I was responsible for successful production and distribution and was, naturally, horrified.

What did I do next?

Well, thankfully, my new manager was on vacation and didn’t catch the embarrassing error before I did.

I started by calling the authors of the article to apologize and assure them we would print a correction.

Then I called the scientific editor of the journal, a world-renowned expert in the field who was a professor at the University of Wisconsin.

He laughed in the midst of the dilemma because he, too, had thought “menstrua” was a risky word choice, and he could see I was doing my best to clean up the mess I had not caused.

And then I called printer.

I let him know that I’d meant what I’d said when I’d said, “Here are the corrections. MAKE SURE you catch this one…the erroneous “L” on the lead title.”

It was ultimately probably a blessing in disguise, for while my predecessor in that job had apparently been fairly casual about the journal, the printer realized quickly that on my watch, we would be working to high standards. And we would expect to, and would work hard to get it right.

He realized that, like Horton in “Horton Hatches the Egg,” I meant what I said, and I said what I meant, and we would get along fine as long as he understood that.

Oh, and by the way, I took friendly hassling from the scientific editor in Madison, WI for the rest of the time that we worked together.

He thought the whole circumstance was ultimately VERY funny because he could see that I took my new job seriously and would do what I could to protect the results of his hard work as the editor of this world-renowned journal.

Well, there are more embarrassments and mistakes I’ve made that I could share, but I’ll leave it at that.

The point, of course, is that the humility and, ultimately, the humor that these experiences bring every time I recall them is always a good and refreshing thing.

What about you?

What are your “Embarrassments I Survived” stories?

And what did they ultimately help you learn or do?

Whatever they are, always remember that last part…you survived them!