It’s not a matter of debate.
You, like everyone else, need the skills of transitioning well.
Transitions will happen in your life, guaranteed.
Sometimes they’re sought.
Sometimes they’re accepted.
And sometimes they’re fought, unwanted, unwarranted, unexpected.
Our children will be transitioning soon. In their case, it’s from college to creating their own lives more fully as adults.
That doesn’t mean, though, that even if these transitions were expected, our children will feel fully ready for the change when their turn to walk in the cap and gown is done.
Anne completes a master’s degree in nurse-midwifery at Vanderbilt in December. She’ll help women through the major change of welcoming their new babies into their lives.
Matt graduates in June, 2014 from UC Davis. A film studies major, he’ll make his way to a satisfying career, too. He may discover, in the process, as the rest of us in the family have, that the path to that satisfying career includes a few exploratory and path-clarifying stops.
Transitions in life may bring many changes: location and living quarters, job, relationships, family circumstances, finances, health, and more.
My husband and I know about health transitions, much more than we did a year ago.
In the process of dealing with Gary’s sudden need for back surgery and its aftermath in the summer of 2012, we missed the early signs of a burgeoning foot problem.
And, as we all know, whispered cues and clues of the need for change, unheeded, can start to scream at you.
We’re dealing with more dramatic circumstances now (think knee high boot for a year…and no driving for months). But dealing with it, we are.
My mantra through this second year of health transitions and helping my husband regain his full health is, “We’re working it!”
Skills of transition are, fundamentally, the skills of resilience.
They’re also, often, the skills of innovation.
Solutions are sometimes cobbled together in the moment, and even better solutions are created, with time, experimentation and experience.
Learn from my family’s transition experience, if you can.
You need to be able to land on your feet, when change happens, whether unwanted or sought.
And it’s better to learn to bloom where you’re planted, wherever you are.
With good transition skills and great resilience, you can deal with just about anything.
You can even take a heap of unwanted experiences, if that’s what you’ve got, and turn it into the fuel, foundation, and fertilizer for a garden that’s beautiful, perhaps even inspiring, and more.
![Mine didn't look quite like the picture](http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6194/6060862155_90729b4a2e_z.jpg "© Copyright Jan Richards
I located a recipe for a chocolate cake with raspberry frosting when we thought my sister-in-law would be here to celebrate a milestone birthday with my husband, whose same milestone was a month later. The recipe called for the small cake to be baked in a 6" x 3" pan. It was, allegedly, going to look like this, if I followed the recipe carefully. It didn't. Far from it. The top caved in terribly both times I tried it (I may have a picture of the caved-in cake somewhere, and will post it if I find it). The first time I was discouraged. The second time I was stymied, but less bothered by the failed ceremonial experiment. Now the really good thing about this particular baking adventure is that the deep, dark chocolate cake was DELICIOUS! and well-worth making again because it was so good. But I ended this experiment by deciding not to worry about trying to make it as beautiful as this picture, or to try to serve it for a special occasion. When I make it the second time, a good friend was visiting, and she, my husband and son and I loved it as we ate it together, each armed with a fork, right out of the baking pan while it was still warm. That way, the caved-in top made no difference. For our purposes, I've renamed it "Campfire Chocolate Cake" and will only serve it to a group that doesn't mind eating it together, campfire style, right out of the cake pan when it's still deliciously warm.")
